Almost 20 months of breastfeeding my little one, and now this chapter is closed.
It's taken quite a while to get here... I have felt ready for some time but was unsure how to go about it, especially as I have always fed him to sleep (and as you may recall, the advice I received was not of the most helpful variety... vegemite anyone?). So slowly - we always do things slowly around here - we started dropping feeds. First the morning one, which meant giving up those lovely lazy hour long feeds and snuggles in bed. And as he was waking up at 5.30ish, it meant getting up before the sun (sometimes 2 hours before the sun) and giving him breakfast and starting our day earlier. Thank goodness for husbands is all I can say about that.
And then said husband started putting him to bed at night. The protests and cries for mama subsided amazingly quickly and although it took him a while to get him to sleep, he did it and it was fine. In fact it's been a lovely and special time for them. Then last friday, I went out for dinner with some friends in the evening, leaving the house before Leo was asleep and leaving the boys to do bedtime alone. And then, I just knew it was time. It was the weekend and papa was around to continue to put him to sleep during the day, and so it went.
By sunday, it had been a couple of days of no feeds and I started mourning the fact that it was over and I hadn't really appreciated that last one! So I gave him one last long feed, relishing every last moment of that beautiful bonding experience and then that was it. And so now I manage to get him to sleep during the day with cuddles and back rubs and songs and it's been surprisingly easy.
Breastfeeding this beautiful boy has been a wonderful experience (except for the first couple of weeks but that's another story) and I am so glad that we were able to do it for this long. But now I know that I am ready for my body to be mine again, and I can tell that my little boy is getting bigger and older and ready to be a little more independent.
The next chapter has begun...
*that's Leo high fiving me after his last feed!
High fives Joanna :) Congratulations on a beautiful breastfeeding journey (minus the first few weeks!). I like what you wrote about feeling ready but feeling the grief of it actually being over...I relate to that one. I remember just out of the blue aching for more breastfeeds in the months after Skye weaned. I think it's normal because it truly is a special time together. x
ReplyDeletePS. Love this happy photo.
Thanks Nicole. Yes, I'm happy it's finished but a little sad too!
DeleteAww. What a special picture. This post made me feel a little weepy as I am over here nursing my own as I type. It is such a special relationship. Those first few weeks were difficult for me as well, but I'm so thankful to have persevered. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteWell done for persevering, it can be so difficult at first. Enjoy!
DeleteWell done. I think it is harder for the mamas than the kiddos to stop breastfeeding! I also found that when we stopped, around the same age as your little guy, he suddenly grew up and became more independant in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cassandra, yes I can already see that he's taking huge leaps... not my little baby anymore!
DeleteI just weaned Lalie in the last week or so. I was no where near as emotional as I thought I would be - I guess after 2 years, I was really just over it. The feeding has stopped, the hands down the top and nipple pinching has not! I've breastfed for so long that I honestly think she believes they are hers! It's very frustrating.
ReplyDeleteAll this sounds a bit negative, but I really am so happy that I was able to breastfeed her for so long. And good on you for doing the same! xx